The Magnum

The other night I had a weird thing happen. I was at a petrol station and I looked into an ice cream freezer and just stopped. You know when you see something that reminds you of someone you miss? Well, I just stared. And after a very long time I shook it off and started to walk away. I must have looked upset because at that point a really gruff looking guy said “yeah, mate, I fucking hate it when I don’t have my favourite ice cream either!” I love that guy. It made my night. The best part is we both went home with very different stories.

I was staring at a honeycomb magnum in that freezer. An amazing looking honeycomb magnum. A lot of people go for the classic. Some people mix it up but the honeycomb is the best magnum there is. I seem to remember when I first had one it had writing on the packaging that read “limited edition” and once I had it I just hoped that this was a clever ploy at marketing to get people like me to only live off honeycomb magnums before the limited run ends.

And so then I got thinking about the phrase ‘magnum opus.’ In latin that means ‘great work’. A lot of people still use this term but it only clicked to me recently that ‘magnum’ must mean ‘great’. How cool is that? I’ve never even thought about that. So ‘magnum’ actually means great! It brings a whole new meaning to ‘magnum honeycomb’, ‘magnum classic’ and ‘magnum ego.’ And even more meaning to magnum condoms.

I just couldn’t believe my luck and I called my friend straight away to tell them the news because, yeah, I had very little going on at that point. And I told them straight away what I had just found out for myself. My friend took a short pause and said “yeah. And ‘golden gay time’ roughly translates to ‘golden happy time.’” And there I was, thinking about ice creams again. But not just any ice cream. It was a GREAT.

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